Laugh Out Loud

Really enjoyed this....

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
The teacher said, "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood,as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."“Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positionthe blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples". J




One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and makeme cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

Point to Ponder

Everything in this world can be seen as you wish to.

Good or Bad;

Simple or Complicated;

Easy or Difficult.
Its not how things are; its about how you look upto them. ..

and how you look up to them is all upto you.

But the misfortunate part for most of us is that, we look only at the worst, most complicated and most difficult things as the integral part of life.

This is a good one!!

Conditioned Reflex Action of IT Junta!!

If we actually start looking at the IT folks, like the Pavlov and the dog experiment and its findings on conditioned reflexes, there could be many more interesting ones. Here are a few, I could think about.

* Somebody asks - This weekend I am looking for a get away of about 200-300 KM car drive. Any idea, what are the places I can visit around Hyderabad? Also, please do provide me with the path. Side effects of being in the IT field. ‘route’ becomes path!

* The other day I was hearing one guy talking of a “Standalone” house, when he was actually intending a independent house. Poor broker shud have tuff time trying to find a " Alone house standing in a huge empty area"

*Some days back my bike stopped as the petrol came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike!

*Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place wasn’t fixed yet. I said we shall decide it “run time”

*Once at home I opened the tap to find that water is not coming, I call my Roomie and tell her that there is some error in the pipeline and water is not coming!

*I always wondered why mobile phones do not having Cntrl+C/Cntrl+V facilities?

*How many times i ended up bulbing by cntrl+alt+Del ing my home PC!!

*Dial '0' on the home phone and wait for the dial-tone!!

*Someone goes to a theatre from office directly, He ends up showing his ID card to the guy at the entrance and walked in and that guy had to call him back asking for the ticket.

*I go to some place to wash my hands. I just show my hands up and wait for the water to wash it, forgetting I need to turn something on.

*How many times I thought why don’t we have Ctrl+Z in real life…!

Story of Corporate Lives!!

So big and so small yet they serve the same purpose!!!

Something to know

oxymoron - Conjoining contradictory terms

Many a times we use two contradictory terms together. say for example: deafening silence, busy doing nothing etc.

euphemism - An inoffensive expression that is substituted for one that is considered offensive

Say for example, Physically challenged or Differently abled instead of physically handicapped, mentally challenged instead of mentally retarded, senior citizen instead of oldster etc.

neologism - A newly invented word or phrase

many new words get added up into the english dictionary day by day due to their increasing usage ans not because of any kind of etymological originof being derived from their roots. Typical examples are: bug in a computer program, Googling has become a verb of late, plastic being popularly used instead of the word credit card.

Wat is compiler ?

Written by a student in a introductory Computer Science course. I found this interesting. This is called real talent, with one single world, elaborate it to the maximum.


"A compiler's primary function is to compile, organize the compilation, and go right back to compiling. It compiles basically only those things that require to be compiled, ignoring things that should not be compiled. The main way a compiler compiles, is to compile the things to be compiled until the compilation is complete."

Only S/W engineers can do it!

This happened last night. My roomie's mobile had some problem with the speaker suddenly. She was unable to hear anything at all from the other end.

One other room-mate and I suggested a few things to change in the settings and services. It was a brand new mobile and we were all wondering as to what could go wrong in the mobile settings. After a few tries, we gave up and the carried on.

After a while she comes back and says, "the mobile is working fine". We asked here wat went wrong and how did she manage to get it right. She said almost instantaneously, "Its simple. I just switched it off and switched it on."

It reminded me of an old joke.

A Mechanical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and a Software Engineer happened to travel together in a car. Suddenly, the car stops.

The mechanical engineer almost an expert in trouble-shooting automobiles tries his hand on. He looks at every part in the engine and verifies if it was functioning properly. He finishes whatever trouble-shooting he could do and tried to start the car. Notheing happened. The car didnt start.

The Chemical engineer, an expert in fluid dynamics tried his expertise. His checked the fuel consistency and fuel injection and lubrication and many such things. Still nothing happened. The car didnt start.

Now, its the software engineer's turn. He maintains a cool temperament and gets of the car. He asks his fellowmen to also get off the car. He locks the car, and again unlocks it, opens the doors and gets in. He starts the engine, and now, the car starts!!

Even my roomie was applying the same concept.

Many a times in life, even the same logic could work out the best. When you find yourself landed up in a problem, all you have to do is to come out of it. Shut down the problem. and then re-start it, you will definitely be able to solve it!!!

This is something interesting!

I read a couple of days ago in the paper, Naomi Campbell, the super model, will wear gloves and hold broom and mop instead of posing for pictures. she wud be cleaning some public place for a week.

This was done as a punishment for throwing her mobile and assaulting her maid. This act of hers is taken as an insult on a sanitation worker and she has to play her role.

It indeed is an interesting punishment. It treats everyone equal under the eyes of law!!

Hell and Heaven!

Read this somewhere:

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,"Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like." The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man lookedin. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man'smouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appearedto be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that werestrapped to their arms and each of them found it possible to reach into the pot of stew, and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoon back into their mouths.The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. TheLord said, "You have seen Hell."They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same asthe first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew,which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with thesame long-handled spoons, but here the people were well-nourished and laughingand talking.The holy man said, "I don't understand." "It is simple" said the Lord, "it requires but one skill." "You see, they have learned to feed each other,while the greedy only think of themselves."

Good one na?

Nature - let us conserve share and care!!

I happened read an article from The Hindu few days ago. It was speaking about how Chennai’s garbage disposal has become ineffective in every which way. It spoke about how Garbage disposal has become the most difficult job practically. There was a simile brought out in the article. It is something like this: If you have a garbage bin in the kitchen and you can only dump garbage and cannot empty it. You keep on dumping waste over and over on it. You can’t empty it but only got the choice of filling it!!! How disgusting could it turn your living at home?

The scenario in Chennai is also pretty much the same. There are 3 dumping grounds and all of them fully loaded. They can’t be emptied. All the garbage is being stacked from the bottom up. There s no way out. Though there was some initiative to collect garbage separately as wet waste and dry waste, the enthu to do so, lasted only a few days amidst our people.

Actually, the effective way to organized waste disposal will be something like this. The wastes are to be segregated as wet, dry and toxic wastes.

Typical examples of wet waste would be the kitchen and the garden wastes. They are to be composted or vermin-composted.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compost

The recyclable things like paper, glass, metal scrap etc would fall under dry wastes.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recycle

The toxic wastes, say for example battery cells, bandages and expired medicines are to be landfilled.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landfill

Perhaps most important of all is to reduce the amount of garbage we dump everyday. Carrying our own shopping bag rather than getting a plastic bag every time we shop, carrying our own water bottle rather than buying a PET bottle every time, or carrying your own sandwich box than wrapping in aluminum foil - al these are small small things which will make a big big difference to our environment. If we have not thought about it before its high time we start thinking about it.

This is the golden mantra we should remember if we don’t want our beautiful earth to turn from bad to worst - Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle.

DV and VC!!

This morning I was sitting in FC having my grub. There were a bunch of people sitting in my table. Freshers just joined, looks like. The reason why I say this is because they had this book, ‘Five Point Someone’ by Chetan Bhagat with them and they seem to be excited about it.

And then, to my suprize, they started speaking about DV, our very own VC. Looks like they just had their convocation. Swearing him throughout the discussion. It reminded me the days in Anna University. Hmm.. adventures!!!

My 3 rd semester, we had to take a subject, Basic Mechanical Engineering. And guess what, DV was my faculty. The first entire week we never had any classes. We would not have a class as usual, we thought. That ‘we’ stands for me and Mitts of course!! And that particular BasicMech Class followed the break. We hopped into the canteen and happily walked backed to class some 20 mins after it was supposed to actually start. As we were walking on the corrider, approaching the classroom, a bunch of my class guys were frantically waving their hands, gesturing us not to enter the class. We were puzzled but we walked ahead. The moment we stepped in, adding to even more suspense, we found half the class standing on the teacher's platform near the writing board. We were totally lost. Absolutely no clue of what  was happening!

“Welcome!” sounded a voice from the middle of crowd. He walked out and proudly introduced himself, “I am your Mechanical Engineering Professor”. “Have you people come here for a fancy dress contest? Don’t you know the university dress code?” he continued. We were wondering:What fancy dress? What university dress code?  Finally, I understood that we were all wearing Jeans and Tees. Oh ho. Are there some written rules about the dress culture at all in Main Campus was the first question.

The first day was more a Moral Science lecture than a Mechanical engineering class. In addition to which was his non-stop self praise that he assisted APJ in the making of the Agni missile. And then, he was the founder of the AVRC, the Department of Media Sciences in the main campus.
We all were puzzled than anything else looking helplessly at each other’s faces.

The next day, it was even worse. Someone sitting in the first row was biting his nails. He started his most imaginative and powerful thought oriented lecture. If you bite your nails, you end up swallowing them. They will rupture the walls of the intestine. You will get ulcer. It might result in cancer. Inference was ‘Biting nails may lead to cancer’!!! Folks, did you ever knew it?? Heights of it!!!!!

This went on for a week. The same kind of lectures continued for a week. He was teaching us “Thermo-dynamics”. Every class, he will write
thermo = heat
dynamics = motion

on the board. This was the only thing I learnt in the entire tenure of his process of teaching us Mechanical engineering. And then he went on with his usual non-stop non sense. For all the big talk he does, some thing is rotten and moth-eaten about him. I may sound like as thought I am being brutal cynic. But you end up commenting this way when you are ‘frustrated to the core’.

Many such incidents followed for a week and then he was replaced by another Lecturer due to some reason. What an escape!!!

Now, this guy who was incapable of delivering a single lecture in Mechnaical engineering is the Vice-Chancellor of the most reputed Anna Universtity, one of the biggest universities which encompass 256 engineering colleges and over 2 lac students. No comments!

I don’t have to say anything about his new policies in the college governance - the Dress Code, the cell phone ban, the ban on movie club in college, ban on the culturals and many more to add on. Well the essential part of enhancing the management of a university should be towards its educational policy or towards developing the infrastructure or towards faculty enablement. This kind of measures which have been taken are not going to lead one step ahead towards the betterment or upliftment.